in my room: confessions of an introvert
Introvert and extrovert are two words people love to throw around nowadays. Most commonly, I see people labeling themselves as an "extroverted introvert", stating that they enjoy going to parties, but also are okay staying in and watching Netflix. While it is true that most people fall in between the two extremes of introvert and extrovert, I feel that people like to label themselves as a hybrid because they don't want to identify solely as an introvert. Introvert has a negative connotation, and conjures up images of a hermit with no friends. When you hear the word extrovert, a bubbly, life of the party, social butterfly comes to mind. However, these stereotypes are simply not true. I am definitely on the more introverted end of the spectrum, and I appreciate my alone time, but that doesn't mean I don't like socializing. I often feel misunderstood by the people around me, so I decided to write a post about the most common misconceptions of introverts.
we don't hate you
So many people have told me they thought I didn't like them the first time they met me, but that couldn't have been farther from the truth. Introverts just take a little bit longer to warm up to you.
alone time doesn't always mean staying home alone
People always assume that introverts prefer to be home alone all the time. While there's nothing I love more then coming home to relax in bed after a long day out, on the weekends I love getting out of my apartment and exploring New York. However, I usually prefer to be out and about on my own. I would rather vintage shop, go to a museum, or grab brunch by myself. I consider these activities to be my alone time, even though I'm still surrounded by thousands of people around the city.
we prefer small groups vs big groups
Introverts find small talk draining, so we would rather hang out in a smaller group and have meaningful conversation with a few people we really care about. If you have a friend who is an introvert, consider making plans with them one on one, rather than inviting them out in a large group setting.
I could go on, but these are just a few of the misconceptions about introverts. Being an introvert doesn't mean that we don't like being social. I hope that if you have a friend or family member that's an introvert this helps you better understand them. I also want to mention Madison from Minnie Muse Blog. She wrote a similar post about understanding introverts, which inspired me to write this post. You can check it out here if you want some additional reading:
What do you consider yourself, an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between?
Pajamas: c/o Emily and Fin
Last Sunday, I spent the day in Cold Spring, New York. It's a cute little town that is only a short train ride away from Grand Central Station. Cold Spring has a ton of vintage and antique shops, so that was the main reason for my trip.
I decided to wear this vintage dress I received from The Art of Hannah Jane. I'm guessing this dress was from the 80's or early 90's. It was originally calf length, but I chopped it to make it above the knee, and also removed the shoulder pads and shortened the sleeves. With the holiday season upon us, when it's easy to feel overwhelmed by bloggers or brands encouraging us to buy, buy, buy, I wanted to put up a post with the benefits of shopping second hand.
Vintage can be expensive, but in general shopping second hand is significantly cheaper, especially if you are shopping at a thrift store as opposed to a more curated vintage shop.
•creates a more unique wardrobe
One of the reasons I like shopping at vintage and thrift stores is actually a selfish reason. I love getting my hands on things that nobody else can, so that's why I'd rather shop second hand, instead of shopping fast fashion stores where everyone else is.
•helps the environment
Fabric cannot naturally decompose, so any clothing thrift stores cannot accept ends up sitting in a landfill, which is terrible for the environment. Anytime you make a purchase from a thrift store, that's one less piece to get discarded into a landfill.
Lots of thrift stores benefit charities. One of my favorites in NYC benefits diabetes research, while another takes its profits to fight against AIDS and homelessness.
•better quality clothes when you buy vintage
The old saying, “they don’t make them like they used to” is around for a reason. Vintage clothing withstands the test of time, and is just better quality all around, from the fabric to the construction of the garments.
•supporting small business supports someone's dreams
Lastly, when you're shopping thrift or vintage, whether it be a brick and mortar location or online shop, you're supporting someone's dream, rather than contributing to a larger corporation. I'm definitely going to be buying as many gifts as I can from vintage or small busisnesses this year. Happy shopping!
Dress: c/o The Art of Hannah Jane
Belt & Tights: Anthropologie; Beret: Top Shop; Shoes: Franco Sarto (bought from Century 21)
Location: Cold Spring, New York
A few days ago, I stumbled across an amazing article entitled “Social Media Sickness”. You can read it here, http://leblow.co.uk/social-media-sickness/ and I highly recommend you do because it is incredibly accurate. In the article, the author calls out all the cliches we see across Instagram nowadays. While reading, I noticed a cliché she mentioned in her article present in these photos: that “looking to the side, right foot forward, tippy-toed” pose. When I first started taking photos for social media, I never naturally posed like this, but I began to notice other bloggers posing that way, and I started to mimic their body language. Although I try to create unique content and look outside of Instagram for inspiration, this article really emphasized how formulaic social media has become.
With 2018 fast approaching, I'll be reevaluating my blog and Instagram to see where I want to take things in the new year. I know one thing I'll be focusing on is trying to break away from the cookie cuter Instagram mold so many of us have fallen into and create imagery that (hopefully) will actually inspire my readers and followers.
If you’re interested in shopping my dress, you can find it here:
Dress: C/O Smak Parlour
Beret: Top Shop: Tights: Hue; Shoes: Franco Sarto (bought at Century 21); Purse: Vera Bradley
Location: West Village, NYC
#goals: tips for goal setting
It's hard to believe 2017 is almost over. Like most years, this one flew by. While most people make resolutions for themselves at the beginning of each year, I prefer to set goals. In my opinion, resolutions tend to have a negative connotation, like "stop smoking" or "loose weight". Making blanket statements like these also don't offer any time frame to accomplish the goals you want. Here are some tips you can use to set goals for yourself to make you more likely to reach them.
Write Them Down:
This seems obvious, but just writing down the things you want to accomplish makes it more likely for you to achieve them. It's easy to make a mental note in your head, but you can easily loose track of your goals by not writing things down somewhere. Make a list on a note in your phone, or do it the old fashioned way with a pen and paper, whatever works better for you.
Categorize Your Goals:
Break your goals down by category. I categorize mine by career goals, financial goals, blog goals, and personal goals, but you can break it down however works best for you.
Check in with yourself every few weeks or months to see if you're on track for meeting your goals. And remember, it's ok for your goals to evolve over time. A goal you set for yourself 6 months ago might not be important to you now. For example, one of the goals I set for myself at the beginning of 2017 in regards to my blog was to join an affiliate site (such as like to know it) to monetize my blog. However, after reevaluating my blog and Instagram this year, I realized this goal does not make sense for me. The point of my blog and Instagram is not to push product on people, so why would I join an affiliate site? Just because I saw other big bloggers using these sites, I felt like I should be too, when in actuality it's not something I even wanted. Which brings me to my next point
Don’t Let Society Define Your Goals:
Don’t set goals for yourself based on society’s timeline. Everyone is different and grows at their own pace. Especially with social media, its so easy to feel inadequate compared to our peers. But the new year is a great time to reflect and think about the things that are most important to you and what YOU really want out of life.
I hope these tips were helpful and got you thinking about what you'd like to achieve in 2018. Check out my latest Instagram post, where I’m giving away all the products featured in this post to help you stay organized in the new year!
If you're interested, you can also shop my heart sweater here: http://www.tobi.com/product/52634-tobi-heart-on-my-sleeves-sweater?color_id=71544
Planner, notebooks and pen: C/O Graphique de France
Sweater: C/O Tobi
Collared Shirt: Forever 21; Skirt: UO; Tights: Hue; Sneakers: Vans (bought from Madewell)
Location: Schnackenberg (Hoboken, NJ)